Deep Fry This!

So I'm sitting here thinking about how much food is deep-fried or has bacon added to it. One of the most challenging things for me is going to a restaurant and trying to find something NOT deep-fried and non-baconfied (sure, its a word). I recently went to a Chinese restaurant to find something fresh and healthy to eat. What was I thinking?! It was a Chinese restaurant! That means deep-fried everything...spring/egg rolls, stuffed won ton, noodles, General Tsos chicken, etc And what's not deep-fried is drenched in salt with a little bit of soy sauce. I've been to China and I know normal Chinese do not eat that junk. That's why they all live to be 125 yrs old and Americans seem to have by-pass surgery at 14, then die at 36. At an amusement park I saw deep-fried Twinkies and Snickers. How do you deep-fry a Twinkie without soaking up a gallon of liquid lard? After seeing that, I became convinced restaurants could deep-fry turds, put them on sticks and sell them for a good sum of money. If sales began to fall, just wrap a piece of bacon around it.